TRIGGER WARNING : SELF HARM
Sorry I just have to let it out.
Today, nov 5 12:25 am
I had the worst SH incident i don’t remember when was the last time it was this bad – 2 or 3 mons maybe?
Today I’ve cut myself 7 times, smeared blood in my journal, my hands, and legs
The cuts weren’t deep enough to kill me
But I’ve become addicted to SH, to feeling of pain, to the blood.
I can’t stop until my skin is tender, it makes me feel better, the sight of blood makes me happy, im afraid im gonna loose it.
I tried to stop i tried to stop i tried to stop but it’s the only thing that works.
It’s the only thing that makes the sadness, dissociation and panic go away.
Im sorry, i think im lost again and i think i prefer to stay here cuz im tried of fighting it then just falling back again.